My partner has come out, too, as a femme homosexual transgender man

In my previous blog post, I described that I have come out as the butch lesbian transgender woman that I am. When I finally worked up the courage to inform my partner, Nancy, of this, she said that she, too, had some news for me.

Because she has a vagina, the sex that was assigned to her at birth, against her consent, was female. But, over the years she has come to realize that she self-identifies her gender as male, that she is a homosexual male, preferring sex with other men, that she likes to dress and wear her hair in an effeminate way (as many other drag queens do), and that she prefers the pronouns "she/hers/her." In sum, she, too, is not a heterosexual female, but a femme homosexual transgender man.

What a relief for both of us, after all these years, to be able to truly acknowledge our inner selves to each other.

I am not guy, but a butch lesbian transgender woman

In an earlier blog post, I came out as guy, or heterosexual male. After recently reading Ryan T. Anderson's book When Harry Became Sally: Responding to the Transgender Moment, I have realized that my sexual identity is quite a bit more nuanced than that and I will attempt to explain it here.

As a preface, let me refer to California's recently enacted Senate Bill 826, which mandates that publicly-held corporations put females on their boards. This bill defines the term "female" as follows:

“Female” means an individual who self-identifies her gender as a woman, without regard to the individual’s designated sex at birth.

Because I have a penis, my sex was designated at birth (without my consent, I might add) as male. Over the years, however, I have come to realize that I self-identify my gender as a woman. That is, I am a transgender woman. More precisely, I have come to realize that I self-identify as a lesbian transgender woman, that is, I am a woman who has a sexual preference for other women. And, as is the case with many lesbians, I prefer to express my gender by wearing butch clothing and cutting my hair short. Being butch, I also prefer to be referred to with the pronouns "he/him/his" and to use men's restrooms. In sum, I have realized that I am not guy (that is, heterosexual male), after all. Rather I am a butch lesbian transgender woman. I should also note that, as a butch lesbian transgender woman, I do not wish to have my penis and testicles removed through gender affirmation surgery because I prefer to use my original equipment instead of being forced to use a dildo strap, as my non-transgender butch lesbian sisters are forced to do. Finally, let me clarify that I use the term "transgender woman" as an aid to the reader only. In reality, I find the term "transgender woman" demeaning since it implies that I am not fully woman, which I am.

In sum, although previously I mistakenly thought of myself as a man, I have now realized I am a butch lesbian transgender woman (a BLTW). As a BLTW with over 30 years experience in the software industry, I hereby declare myself qualified and available to serve on the boards of directors of California high-tech companies.